When I was a young mom, my mom moved away. My grandmother and all of my aunts lived out of state and I felt very alone. Sure, I knew people but, no one that I considered a mentor lived very close to where I felt that I could lean on or even glean from them. I spent many afternoons feeling isolated, lost, ill-equipped, and forgotten. I know now that this is a common feeling for a young mom that doesn't have those she loves and depends on to be near her. I spent many hours on the phone with my mom but, it just wasn't the same as having her there. I also had my best friend I had grown up with, very close by and talked with her often. It just wasn't like having my mom. Being home all day in a large house with 2 young boys was hard. And tiring. I wanted to know that those feelings were normal. And how to deal with them.
About that time I was listening to the radio and heard about this program that some churches were implementing called, Apples of Gold. I was enamored with the idea. I prayed for the program to come near me. I wanted to be a part of the program. It was a six week program that was a bible study, then a cooking lesson with fellowship. The more experienced, mature women would lead the younger women based on the scripture from Titus 2:3-5. This was even worse knowing there was a program like I had been dreaming of and no one around to do it.
Now what? Well, at some point I began to homeschool. Now I really needed a mentor. I scoured every nook and cranny to find someone to help me learn what to do.
Now, I need to stop and fill you in to my background up until this point. I was not ill equipped. I had helped raise my youngest brother who is 10 years younger then myself. I had always babysat and was around small children. After school, I had become a preschool teacher. I helped teach and guide preschool children. The being with and teaching of small children hadn't been a problem, the being alone was.
During that time I was new to the internet. There was no Face Book, only groups. Yahoo and forums. Blogs were odd and newish. But, I dove down any and all rabbit trails and holes I could find to educate myself on anything I could to raise my boys and be the best wife I could be.
I'm sure you are wondering if I ever found a mentor. Not exactly. I found a couple of forums that I could gather info from. And even "talk" to some of these more mature ladies. But, they were strangers. Really, I didn't know them. I had never sat across the table from them. I learned to look for what I was wanting on my own. I had no one to go to so I realized I had to rely on God to provide what I needed. He did. In a different way then I desired. But, He did.
I am now in my 40's and have 4 children total. I have homeschooled those children for the last 15 years. My oldest is graduating and is on his second year of college. Oddly, as our lives have taken so many unexpected twists and turns, some good, some not good at all; I have become the more experienced, mature lady. Mentor if you will.
I never have found a group doing the Apples of Gold program and would still love to be involved in such a thing. I do mentor whenever I can. Interestingly, sometimes it is to a younger mom. Often about homeschooling, parenting, being a wife and mom and all that goes with that, natural health and taking control of our families health and well-being. I reach out whenever I can. Sometimes it is someone my own age that needs a cheerleader for a minute. I realized a few years ago that mentoring often is just cheerleading. Encouraging someone else through something you've already been through. I can do that. I don't need a program to tell me how to encourage another mom to help her be empowered to take care of her and her family. We can all do that.
So, I ask you, when you see that young mom at church or homeschool group or school, or anywhere else she might be, give her an encouraging word. Anything will do as long as it is sincere. You may be the mentor she doesn't even know she needs. We moms need to nurture and encourage each other. That is what we are called to do.
Hebrews 13:7 says:
Remember those who led you, who spoke the word of God to you; and considering the result of their conduct, imitate their faith.
This is a great verse for anyone that is a mentor. We are to guard our faith and know that others are watching and imitating us.
What is a mentor? What makes you a mentor? You say, I'm too young, or I don't have anything to share with anyone. Maybe you think you don't have anything that anyone else would want to know or care to know. Well, I was told when I first started homeschooling that if you have homeschooled one day longer then someone else then you were a veteran to them. That is true of everything in life. If your child is older or you have been married a day longer. But, it is also more. If you have had a trial and made it to the other side (no matter how old you are), you have a responsibility to share and lead others through that trial as well. Life is full of moments. Teaching moments, learning moments, sharing moments. Don't be selfish and keep the things you have learned to yourself. Help someone else. Reach out. Say a kind word.
We've all been in the store and had our child do something that we prayed no one else noticed. Maybe they screamed, threw a fit, vomited, threw something, started coughing like a seal, hurt themselves and acted like it was the end of the world, fought with their siblings. Said something unkind -knowingly unkind or not. (my oldest was once in an elevator with his dad. A very large man got in and my son said, "Daddy, that man is SO fat!" The man heard him. But, my son wasn't being mean just pointing out a fact. One that didn't need any commentary but, he did none the less. My poor husband and that poor, poor man. All had to ride all the way down to the lobby together. ) If you are the one that gets to over hear a moment that every mom prays no one does, smile a reassuring smile and if she says anything in her embarrassment, reassure her kids are kids. We all have had moments like the one she just had.
