Accountability

    I am wanting to loose weight and feel fit and healthy again. So, I have been reading and praying about the topic of accountability quite a bit.

          The Bible says much about Christians gathering and spending time together to be stronger. "Iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17 We all have heard it. We know we are stronger together.
     "Where two or more of you gather, there I will be also."Matthew 18:20.

      With these verses and so many others, an idea of an "accountability partner" has come about. Interestingly, the idea of an accountability partner, doesn't stay in the Christian world. In church we have prayer partners or accountability partners we can call when facing a trial. But, in business, fitness, and so many other areas of society, this idea has caught on.

     I was reading a business book the other day to help encourage my business mind. The other says it is great to have an accountability partner to encourage each other to not fall behind on your hustle, your goals.  Read any challenge: Green smoothie, exercise, detox, running, house organization, etc. and they all tell you to have an accountability partner to help and encourage each other to follow through.

     I'm not so sure an accountability partner is always helpful though. I definitely understand that you need to surround yourself with like minded people to stay focused. However, I have had some accountability duds. I'm not saying the person was a dud but, the activity that it was supposed to support became a dud.

    It makes me wonder if I picked the wrong kind of partner. Should you choose someone as ambiguous about the activity as myself. Someone on the low rung of the thing I want to accomplish, so we can go it together? Should I choose someone like they do in AA? A sponsor, someone that has been there before but, is on the rode way ahead of me? Or maybe an "expert". Someone that has never struggled with what I am struggling with. Or even a close family or friend that you adore so you can accomplish together.


     I have seen holes in each of these kind of accountability partner. Let's take the first. Probably the most popular because it can take little effort if you want it to. I have had this kind of person as a helper, and encourager, as a pusher. It didn't work. If that person chose to eat cheesecake and beer for the weekend, what am I really going to do? And if I had a Birthday to celebrate, they always said I should go for it and eat the cake. Is that encouraging me to my goal? NO. They are a friend. Someone that doesn't want you to dislike them. And I don't want them to hate me either for being a task master.

     The second kind, the Sponsor type like AA is another choice. This is great, really my favorite kind. But, there are issues here. Not everyone is the same. Just because they went totally vegan doesn't mean that is the best choice for me. Just because they could run 6 miles the right out of they gate, doesn't mean I can. If I were to disagree in their nutritional advice, won't they just think I'm not disciplined enough to do what they did?? This is uncomfortable, unless you are paying them.

     The third type of partner I mentioned is a "professional".  I suppose often this might be helpful if you are paying someone to do this job. But, there is the fact that many of the health experts have never been overweight. ( Unless it's Richard Simmons). They were always athletic and motivated by exercise. Can they really relate to me and my struggle?

    The last one I called out was the beloved friend or family member. This is probably the worst one to do. Again, I don't want to be seen as a nag. I don't want them nagging me either.  Funny how we see the first type as a task master and a beloved friend or family member as a nag.  Well, I do anyway. It's hard to be with someone that you are so close to, that you share many of the same stresses and challenges. Birthday parties, vacations, all of these will be shared and easy to blow off the regiment you are trying to stay on. And those lazy days where a Netflix marathon and a bowl of ice cream, snuggled on the couch seems like the best plan, that loved one would probably rather snuggle or nap instead of go for a hike.

Pizza and Ice Cream. YUM!!!!!

     So, what will I do? I have really been struggling with this.  Here is where I have come to; I have God and myself. Right now I have some things to work through in me that I'm not super excited to share with the someone else.  I am struggling with me waking up and crawling out of bed to hike in the cold morning. No one else can be there when the Littles crawl in bed in the morning and my husband is sleeping peacefully. No one else is there when I am fighting the Blanket Monster to actually get up. I have decided that for now, besides sharing ideas and thoughts here, I will read my Bible in the morning,  and then get up with God to go for my walk/ talk with HIM. He is who I want to be doing this for. HIM and me. My body is to be HIS temple then HE should have a say. And who else can motivate me better then the LORD himself? I'm tired of disappointing myself and feeling less then great when I am not motivating to someone else. God won't disappoint me by have a pig out day because See's Candy was on sale, and He already knows my weaknesses.

     I do have a good Dr. friend that is helping me with what I am doing.  I have my darling husband, that can be a bit of a saboteur. I mean it's so hard to get out of that  comfy, warm bed with him in it in the morning. He can't help making it hard for me to leave in the morning. And I have a friend that is very health minded. She is always on her treadmill and running (now that she runs 5 and 10K's). She shares yummy healthy recipes whenever she tries a new one. I have decided that I have support of some key people but, I don't want them to be holding me accountable. Well, I am more motivated to do this for me then for anyone else right now. I know I'm breaking all the rules but, I am really enjoying going on my hikes alone and spending time praying and talking to God. I can clear my head so well without the prater of someone else, I would have to small talk with. I know that sounds anti-social.  As a mom that homeschools 2 young children and 2 teenagers, and is with at least one of those kids 24 hours of most days, I need 1 hour to be quiet and uninterrupted. I don't need a vacation away from my family but, I do need an hour. One hour 5 times a week. Funny how I can let other things get in the way of that 1 hour.

     I'm going to go make a smoothie so I don't munch while I get the families dinner ready.

What do you think? Have you had success with an accountability partner in the past or at the present? I'd love to hear how it is working out.

All kinds of goodness in there.